Qualification Hick-up

IN A perfect world, one in which national boundaries were simply geographical signposts rather than a cue for prejudice and hostility, it wouldn't matter a damn if Graeme Hick was invited to play for England against Pakistan next summer.

Unfortunately, the nearest we mortals can ever reasonably expect to get to witnessing perfection would be for the Earl of Botham to join a Yorkshire team run by the Duke of Boycott and presided over by Lord Benn. That's why it was disturbing to discover that moves were afoot to reduce the Salisbury-born batting prodigy's qualification period.

Registration rules

The registration rules governing eligibility for Test and county duty in this country have always conjured up visions of a chunk of Gruyère in my mind. Full of holes and quite capable of leaving an unpleasant aftertaste, it is a cheese that makes me wonder whether its inventor forgot that simplicity is best.

Consider the following:

A cricketer qualified for England shall only be qualified for registration for: (i)
• The county of his birth.
(ii)
• The county in which he is residing and has been resident for the previous twelve months.
(iii)
• The county for which his father regularly played.

In addition, a cricketer qualified for England shall be qualified for registration for a county if: (i)
• He has none of the above qualifications for any county and he is not registered for one; or...

Just no poofters, though, okay? And again:

I don't know about you, but at 13, the word patriotism meant little to me bar a reasons for cheering every English sporting team on. Nicely.

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Scottish parentage

Tony Greig was permitted to turn out for England, on the basis of Scottish parentage, within four years of his Sussex County Championship debut; Anton Ferreira, for seven years a Warwickshire stalwart until being released at the end of last season, was prohibited from lining up alongside fellow South African Brian McMillan; Kevin Curran, a compatriot of Hick, plucked an Irish connection out of the hat to enable him to open Gloucestershire's attack with Jamaican Courtney Walsh; Clive Lloyd is now a true Brit - but not for cricket purposes. Confused? You're not alone.

Anomalies, though less frequent than they once were, still abound almost as regularly as the rules have been juggled in order to accommodate both the national interest and the county treasures. Little wonder that one TCCB Registrations Committee member admits to being more than a trifle perplexed.

`There are so many legal elements beyond cricket, too,' points out the anonymous committee man. `For a start, there's the law of the land which permits EEC players like Ole Mortensen and Soren Henriksen to waive the rules. If I had my way, I wouldn't let any non-Englishman play Test cricket for us, let alone play in the Championship. Your heart may go out to people like Ferreira and Kalli, as mine does, but what about the young kids I see around the county who will forever be blocked by mercenaries?'

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Determined

Hick, meanwhile, seems determined to leave no-one in any doubt that it was at the instigation of Ealing North MP Harry Greenway that his case was raised, and not as a result of any desire to jump the queue. Greenway, a lifelong Worcestershire supporter, wrote to Hick and suggested they meet'to discuss the situation' in October, before Hick flew back to Harare for the winter's coaching and playing.

`I feel that I would like to stick it out here,' said Hick, who is, allegedly, being courted by New Zealand, `but I don't know how long I can last. Ten years is a long time. I think it is unfair that other players have qualified within five years, but I don't want Mr Greenway to start putting questions to Parliament.'

In most workplaces, imported labour tends to be greeted with something less than rabid enthusiasm. `Why should some foreigner restrict my means of earning a crust - and then breeze off home to double his booty?' was one of the more positive reactions I noted when conducting a college poll a few years back.

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No-win situation

Joseph Heller would doubtless appreciate the no-win situation. The counties depend on Test match receipts and, therefore, a strong England team with an identifiable devotion to the flag; local pride as well as financial necessity dictate that every effort should be made to ensure domestic glory, to which end former and future Test stars, and the not-quite-Test-class imports, can be expected to make significant contributions.

It is a conundrum as well-worn as it is vexed. It is hard to avoid feeling sympathy for the rulemakers, harder still to avoid a more than compassionate glance at Kallicharran and Brian Davison, South African connections notwithstanding.

The best thing that can be said about the Hick/ Greenway petition is that the kickback may open the way for another searching re-examination of English cricket's very own Rubik's Cube.

And, with the England middle order - on the evidence of Brisbane at least - having recovered some style, poise and dependability, I'm sure I am not alone in hoping that the TCCB doesn't get too greedy and discretely override the livelihoods of a few of our fellow human beings.

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