A stroke of bad Haq
The Inzamam and Misbah odd-dismissals Hall of Fame
Reggie Hartman-Goodin
03-Oct-2009
Poetry in motion: Inzi almost impales himself on the wicket at Headingley • Getty Images
A genius sees opportunity where there is none. Inzamam-ul-Haq and Misbah-ul-Haq find ways of getting out where there are none
Inzamam
v Monty Panesar, Headingley, 2006
Lazy elegance was never so elegant. Those who didn't see the poetry in this have no aesthetic sense. Inzi looks to furiously pull a Panesar half-tracker. Then, realising he's too cool for such effortful shots, he falls over in slow motion - all grace, mind you - onto the stumps. A less graceful man would have shattered the stumps; Inzi merely dislodged the bails.
Lazy elegance was never so elegant. Those who didn't see the poetry in this have no aesthetic sense. Inzi looks to furiously pull a Panesar half-tracker. Then, realising he's too cool for such effortful shots, he falls over in slow motion - all grace, mind you - onto the stumps. A less graceful man would have shattered the stumps; Inzi merely dislodged the bails.
v Steve Harmison, Faisalabad, 2005-06
If a hot-headed fast bowler throws the ball back at Inzi, it is not likely to draw a response. Peaceful Inzi lets the throw go by. What if he steps out of his crease in the process? Turns out the umpire is keen on perpetuating the Legend of Inzi and rules him out, even though he is not attempting a run. And the fielding side appeal too. Where are all the gentlemen gone?
If a hot-headed fast bowler throws the ball back at Inzi, it is not likely to draw a response. Peaceful Inzi lets the throw go by. What if he steps out of his crease in the process? Turns out the umpire is keen on perpetuating the Legend of Inzi and rules him out, even though he is not attempting a run. And the fielding side appeal too. Where are all the gentlemen gone?
v Suresh Raina, Peshawar, 2005-06
Six months later Inzi adds another chapter. He blocks a throw from Raina while making his way back from having attempted a single. What is a man to do? He makes way for a throw, you rule him out. He intercepts it, you rule him out. Oh the gall of it all. Why do all these upstarts throw at Inzi's body in the first place?
Six months later Inzi adds another chapter. He blocks a throw from Raina while making his way back from having attempted a single. What is a man to do? He makes way for a throw, you rule him out. He intercepts it, you rule him out. Oh the gall of it all. Why do all these upstarts throw at Inzi's body in the first place?
v Ashley Giles, Karachi, 2000-01
Giles is up to his dark tricks again: bowling over the wicket, into the rough, and all that jazz. A skin is not made that Gilo couldn't get under. Lesser men have been known to have lost their patience and get stumped. But Inzi, the innovator, doesn't accept defeat when beaten. He tries to block the ball with his tummy, but it's not ample enough - the tummy, that is - and the ball takes off stump. Inzi must surely have forgotten how much weight he lost during all those years of ambling singles.
Giles is up to his dark tricks again: bowling over the wicket, into the rough, and all that jazz. A skin is not made that Gilo couldn't get under. Lesser men have been known to have lost their patience and get stumped. But Inzi, the innovator, doesn't accept defeat when beaten. He tries to block the ball with his tummy, but it's not ample enough - the tummy, that is - and the ball takes off stump. Inzi must surely have forgotten how much weight he lost during all those years of ambling singles.
Misbah
v Joginder Sharma, Johannesburg, 2007-08
Can we be serious for a minute? This shot, this piece of nonsense from Misbah, scooping straight to Sreesanth at short fine, is responsible for half the troubles cricket is facing today. Freddie Flintoff and the New Zealanders don't want to play for their countries, Chris Gayle is sullen because he has been pulled away from the party for some meaningless Tests. Last checked, Roger Federer was preparing a statement to blame this new Frankenstein for his loss in the US Open final. And Misbah, it's all your fault. Had India not won, there would be no open-top bus parades, and no IPL. May you never rest in peace.
Can we be serious for a minute? This shot, this piece of nonsense from Misbah, scooping straight to Sreesanth at short fine, is responsible for half the troubles cricket is facing today. Freddie Flintoff and the New Zealanders don't want to play for their countries, Chris Gayle is sullen because he has been pulled away from the party for some meaningless Tests. Last checked, Roger Federer was preparing a statement to blame this new Frankenstein for his loss in the US Open final. And Misbah, it's all your fault. Had India not won, there would be no open-top bus parades, and no IPL. May you never rest in peace.
v Dinesh Karthik, Delhi, 2007-08
So it's Delhi and it's winter, and we know the cricket ball can sting, but what is all that fancy protective equipment for? Misbah, easily making it to the non-striker's end, sees the throw head towards him, and reacts as Jerry would on seeing Tom approach. He is about five feet in the air when the stumps are hit. What a wimp.
So it's Delhi and it's winter, and we know the cricket ball can sting, but what is all that fancy protective equipment for? Misbah, easily making it to the non-striker's end, sees the throw head towards him, and reacts as Jerry would on seeing Tom approach. He is about five feet in the air when the stumps are hit. What a wimp.
v Shane Watson, Centurion, 2009-10
Time in international cricket is but fleeting and Misbah, on evidence of his latest form, doesn't give us confidence that, at 35, he has much time left. True adventurer that he is, he wants to live to the fullest, experiencing every possible way of getting out. So he keeps moving around in the crease as if the area is too hot to lay foot on, and then - to a wide ball no less - treads on the sticks. Thus outdoing his own handiwork - or footwork - in an IPL match, while facing Sreesanth.
Time in international cricket is but fleeting and Misbah, on evidence of his latest form, doesn't give us confidence that, at 35, he has much time left. True adventurer that he is, he wants to live to the fullest, experiencing every possible way of getting out. So he keeps moving around in the crease as if the area is too hot to lay foot on, and then - to a wide ball no less - treads on the sticks. Thus outdoing his own handiwork - or footwork - in an IPL match, while facing Sreesanth.